you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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