just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
