Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
