another moral hangover. fuck.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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