Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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