I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
