I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
