If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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