hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
