here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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