My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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