I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
