Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
