She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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