my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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