Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Randomize
