he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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