I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
