She's JV to your varsity
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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