You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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