So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
