Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
