And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
