summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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