Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
