I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Randomize
