I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
