I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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