I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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