I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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