if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
it glows. i had to have it.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
