My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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