I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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