Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
