I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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