Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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