I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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