I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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