hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
