Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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