he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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