the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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