so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
