had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
