somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
