lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
