Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
