We're facebook friends in real life
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
