In the future we'll all be gay
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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