i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
