u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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