I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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