went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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