look no pants
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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