It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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