wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
