i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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